Don't ever forget:

The sun is always rising in the sky somewhere.

I am everything I am because you loved me.

Of all the events I need outfits for, of all the times I've made emergency runs to San Francisco for a new vest, or that shirt I didn't buy that I knew I should have, I guess I never thought I'd need to run out to the mall the buy something for my mother's funeral. It's been four days since it happened, and it hasn't gotten any less sad or any less weird. That's normal, I suppose, considering it hasn't even been a week. But, I don't know how to feel. I know this is part of life, I know I'll get past it, and things will be fine, and everyone who loves me is there for me and their hearts go out to me and all that. I just don't know what to say. My whole life is faking emotions. I mean, that sounds a little harsh, but I'm so comfortable just giving a smile and a one-word answer and moving along. So, what happens when the boy who has no real problems, suddenly has to deal with one of the biggest problems he's ever faced? How do I deal, AND hide what I'm feeling. The answer is clear, I know, but also quite easier said than done. I don't even know where I'm going with this.

I've been ridiculously over-emotional since Monday. I suppose that's normal too. Is there anything that's NORMAL in a situation like this? I keep listening to "Because You Loved Me" by Celine Dion. That song will forever remind me of my mother. Of nights in my bedroom, blasting her album "Falling Into You" on the new stereo that I just HAD to have kept in my room. I keep crying at love songs thinking about how my parents met and how I would feel if I'd lost my love. I keep getting chills at random musical riffs or melodies, for no apparent reason. It's just a very strange time. A limbo, of sorts. Ha. How fitting.