Sometimes I feel like a 16 year old girl. I go through this range of emotions in very small increments of time, from one extreme end of the spectrum to the other and everything in between. In other words, I overanalyze everything. And I love the beginning stages of relationships because of that. That scary, unpredictable feeling that hits your stomach as your mind tries to figure out the meaning behind someone else's actions. It makes me feel alive. I'm to the point that I know what I want and what I look for in someone. And when I meet someone who possesses said qualities, I can't help but get excited, especially when said person shows an interest in me. I don't think there's anything wrong with being a smitten kitten. I don't think there's anything wrong with allowing someone to run through your mind all day. But society sets limits and gives us rules. Society tells us to wait three days before you call, to not callback right away, to come up with strategies, and to play tons of games. I don't see anything wrong with letting someone know that you like them. I don't see anything wrong with telling someone you would love to grow close to them, to be someone they depend on, to be something important to them. People love to hear that kind of stuff, right? And if someone is ready and willing to be there for me, why would that be scary? Why are we so worried about seeming desperate? Why do we go against our natural instincts and force ourselves to conservatively, politely, and passionlessly date?
I'm ready to know love again.
