The world is a carousel of color.

I've spent the last few weeks getting rid of almost everything I own. Selling furniture I loved and bought to feel like an adult in a real apartment even though I was still living at home, clothes I spent thousands and thousands of dollars on, DVD's, books, throwing away things I kept for false sentimental reasons. There's something liberating about not having any of the material things I used to think defined me. I just think I've grown so much from the way I was when I bought those things. When I still living at home, when the Crib was the most important thing to me, when everything that stressed me out was trivial. I FEEL like a different person.

I'm leaving the apartment on Monday. 6 days left here, and then it's a bunch of crazy traveling until I settle in Santa Cruz on the 15th. It can't come fast enough. I am so excited to be on my own, truly. I am so excited to meet new people, and to grow and define myself on my own terms. Getting rid of everything is part of being able to let go of this part of my life. Of course I'm sad to leave what I know, what is so familiar to me. But, it's also really thrilling. More thrilling than anything else I may be feeling. I want to meet people who don't know me. I want to be able to go downtown and not see 13 people I either went to high school with or spent the last 3 years getting drunk and running around the city with. The bay area has given me everything it can give to me right now, along with all the people I've encountered here; I've learned everything I can from them.

2010 has been a huge year for me. And I'm so glad I've matured in the ways I have, and I'm so glad I've grown in the ways I have. And I cannot wait to mature and grow some more. To experience more. And to really find myself in Santa Cruz. I complained a lot about community college for a long time, but I think it's important to have this kind of feeling before leaving home and having the college experience. I'm ready to leave. And I want to leave. And that's something I didn't have in 2007. This summer has been one to remember, definitely, and I cannot wait for the rest of the memories 2010 brings to me. Here's to the future!